dizmo: (clay - easily amused)
Erin ([personal profile] dizmo) wrote2008-03-29 09:58 pm
Entry tags:

I'm just lemming-ing Dili.

So [livejournal.com profile] rhombal was playing around with the Drabble-Matic to make bandom drabbles. And they turned out funny. So I decided to do one. ... And will probably add more, because this is hysterical.

A Pete/Patrick....

The Squirrel Prince

Pete was walking through a sticky meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an adorable little squirrel lying under a tree.

Pete skipped over to see the dear thing and was rough to find that he was hurt! A phone had pierced his pale little finger and he whimpered softly with the pain.

"My shiny little friend," Pete said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the phone, as stirringly as he could. The squirrel cried out and Pete's heart ached, like a really inexpensive but totally meaningful gift. "You'll be all right," Pete whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Patrick and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Patrick up in his arms, Pete carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Pete nursed Patrick, cleaning his finger and feeding him Shoe-brand squirrel chow.

On the eighth night, Patrick climbed into bed with Pete. He burrowed under the covers and worriedly licked Pete's elbow. It made Pete giggle and he cuddled close to Patrick, stroking his leg and singing sultrily to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Pete hurried home so he could curl up with Patrick. It gave him an intriguing feeling whenever Patrick licked his elbow.

Then one night, Patrick looked up at Pete and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a cuddly prince."

Pete screamed carefully, he was so surprised. How could a squirrel talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Patrick said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Pete said and kissed Patrick on his leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a cuddly prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Patrick," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Pete said.

"See?" Patrick said and showed Pete the scar from the phone on his finger. Then he kissed Pete and they tumbled over the moon and did a lot of very terrible things, some of them involving a wet hoodie.

"I love you," Patrick said when they were done. Pete clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Patrick had stashed away.

And if Patrick didn't know about Pete's visits to the squirrel sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

A Bold Day To Nudge

Frank stepped tenderly out into the succulent sunshine, and admired Gerard's ass. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a bulbous sight."

Gerard climbed off the cough drop and walked wildly across the grass to greet his lover. Frank patted Gerard on the neck and then tried to nudge him worriedly, but without success.

"That's all right," Gerard said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not sparkly," Frank. "Not as sparkly as the time we nudged inside a bathtub."

Gerard nodded quietly. "We were erotic back in those days."

"Our ears were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Frank said. "Everything seems bedazzled and stretchy when you're young."

"Of course," Gerard said. "But now we're shadowed, we can still have fun. If we go about it roughly."

"Roughly?" Frank said . "But how?"

"With this," Gerard said and held out a tender robot. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to nudge."

Frank swallowed the robot at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to nudge roughly. They nudged like something that you barely see out of the corner of your eye but then you turn and it isn't there. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

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